Barang

Barang is a term here used to describe any foreigner with light skin. It used to be a description unique to the French, when they were occupying Cambodia, but has, over time, come to encompass all foreigners with lighter skin.

I learned this term quickly when I got to Cambodia, as it was the word being yelled at me across both sides of the street from children, teenagers, and adults. Of course, a group of twenty or so of us had just invaded their small community for our pre-service training, so our presence was overwhelming and came as a shock to many who had never seen a light skinned person before.

At first, when I was called a barang, I didn’t really take any offense to it. It was called out in a friendly way, out of recognition, so I’d acknowledge whoever yelled with a “hello!” or “suasadye!” Then after a while, it sort of evolved to be something I resented being associated with. The tone of voice used when uttering it was more disdainful and the word seemed to be spit out.

I am still addressed as a barang on occasion—mainly when I visit a new province, or go on a long bike ride out of my village—but it’s stopped bothering me because I’ve realized it’s said out of ignorance rather than disdain. The person who calls me a barang does so because he/she doesn’t know me, and doesn’t know the work I am doing here.

So today, I saw my first other barang in my village- probably just passing through. And you know what I felt? Not a sense of solidarity, or a curiosity to know this other person. I felt resentment and suspicion. Like, I wanted this person to leave, and had no interest in knowing if she was another volunteer, like me, here to try to help in the best way she knows how. I shared this with a fellow P.C. volunteer, who was surprised; when she sees another volunteer, she sees them as she sees herself: here to do good work and try to help. She sees them as allies.

Now, unfortunately, I am not this optimistic. By nature, I am more suspicious of people, I guess. I’m open to being proven wrong, but I tend to set the bar pretty low first. This is not something I’m proud of about myself, it’s just a fact. But realizing my own hypocrisy and acknowledging that I saw this barang through much the same lens that Cambodians who don't know me, view me, made me feel more understanding towards Cambodians who are uncertain how they should feel towards me. They may never have seen a white person before, or if they have, maybe the association was a negative one, so their natural inclination is to be a little wary.

All this is to say, that I’m going to try a little harder to be more open-minded towards fellow foreigners working here, and see them as I hope Cambodians will see me: as an ally and not an enemy.