Hey again. So, I wavered on whether or not I wanted to write
this post, but ultimately decided I needed to. I know you guys are probably
being bombarded with it on the news over there, so I apologize if this is just
one more sore reminder of what happened, but for my own sake at attempting to
understand how something like this can happen, I needed to write about it.
What happened at Sandy Newton Elementary School is truly
awful. There’s no other way to put it. Gun laws in the states are one of the
many reasons I so often end up wanting to drift abroad, escaping my own country
and all the things about it I disagree with, all the completely mixed up
priorities.
When I first heard about this, I was on my way out the door
to hang out with a student for the day, so I sort of just tried to shove it to
the back of my brain for processing later. Well, this morning when I had two
hours before class, it began to sink in. We all know the details so I’m not
going to repeat them here, but seriously… Unbelievable. When I went to class,
this was all still overwhelming my brain so I was pretty distracted for the
first part of the lesson.
In between classes, I explained to my co-teacher what
happened and elaborated on how it's even possible for this kind of thing to happen in the states: “In the states,
it’s not too difficult to get a gun. Many people want to have a gun to protect
themselves from crazy people. But then there are crazy people who end up with
guns and this kind of thing happens.” My co-teacher considered this a minute and
then said, “But if no one had guns, no one would need protection.” I sent this
to Garrett in a text. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I don’t know about you all, but when this kind of thing
happens, it’s really hard for me not to just feel hopeless about everything.
Like nothing I do will ever possibly make a difference and there’s no use in
thinking that the world can be good, that people can be good. I feel this urge
to creep into a hole and never talk to anyone, never open myself up again to
anyone for fear of getting hurt, emotionally or physically. I know that this is
wrong, but it’s the impulse I have.
The fact of the matter though, is that the world is always
going to be an incredibly cruel, heartless, terrible place where awful things
like this are allowed to happen. It’s also a beautiful, creative, wonderful
place though, and each and every day we decide how we are going to contribute
to it.
I can’t stop things like this from happening. Neither can
you. But we can do our small acts of kindness with open hearts every day and
know that that is making a
difference. For someone. And for us.
I can make my classroom environment a safe place, intellectually. I can
receive my students’ ideas and opinions with an open heart and mind, and let
them feel acknowledged and appreciated. I can reach out to someone to create
understanding through dialogue. These things are all within my power. Some
crazy guy who should never have had access to a gun is not.
Anyway, I apologize if this post has been ranty and/or
dwelled on something you’ve been overwhelmed with in the news anyway, but I
really felt I needed to write something. You are all important to me (even if
you don’t know it and even if I don’t know you), and I truly think we can all
contribute to making this world a better place, and should, even when it may
sometimes seem like a futile effort. Alright, I’m gonna get all cheesy here and
post a quote I know we have all seen a hundred million times BUT IT’S TRUE so
here it is:
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens
can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret
Mead.
I love you all and hope you and yours are safe and happy.
3 comments:
This was perfect, Leah. I've also been overwhelmed when thinking about what happened, and can't dwell on it for long. When I let myself think about the families of those children, I can't keep from crying. Your colleague had it right: “But if no one had guns, no one would need protection.” ...and we call ourselves the "developed" country?
Keep doing the great things you're doing over there, and when you're done, do some over here. We need you.
Love, Mom
Leah,
I am also glad you decided to write something on this. After hearing about this and reading endless updates on this horrible event, I have really become numb and overwhelmed by the awful potentialities life brings. I am very tempted to distance myself from new details that emerge, partly because the story becomes more and more entrenched in contextual details about the shooter and his victims, and also because of social media, there are people/news outlets that will hear one tiny detail and RUN WITH IT, without much regard to checking the facts first. But I have to remember that no matter how overwhelmed and hurt I feel, my emotions cannot equal that of those families who are directly suffering because they have lost their children. And Leah, when the president reads or when someone posts all the names of the children who died and their birth dates (even just thinking about it now) I feel like I can't take any more and I my reflex is to just shut it out. It's completely unreal.
Kristin is right. We do need you. We need everyone with strong values of love, compassion, and understanding. Never stop enriching those qualities in yourself, Leah.
One love,
Hannah
I just read this post again, but with a new frame of mind. Instead of feeling hopeless like I did at the time when I first read it, I do feel much more inspired to make sure that I am contributing small acts of kindness in the ways I know I can and that are effective in some way. I have more hope now. Thank you.
Love you.
Hannah
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